We chose the goal, became convinced that she was definitely our. It’s time to start acting, but something interferes. That it can be and how to “tame” internal and external obstacles on the path between “I want” and “do”?
We want to start something, but we postpone the start again and again. Why? Sometimes someone is in doubt in our power, in the correctness of the idea. “Why do you need the second higher: this is an extra waste of money and you will not be at home. But what about the children?”Says a husband who dreams of self -realization to his wife. Or he himself was tired of hired work and wants to start his own business, and the family is not sure of success.
And sometimes we doubt ourselves. “I do not have enough knowledge”, “I am not experienced enough for this”, “I have no strength and energy”. How to recognize these internal and external provocateurs who stood in the way to the dream? And are they always so wrong? Business trainer Oleg Dobstan offers practical recommendations.
Obstacle No. 1: fear that nothing will work out
There is a primary fear: “I have never done this, and since I haven’t done it, then I have no such experience, then it will not work”. Vicious circle. Any new project is a jump of faith. Therefore, it makes no sense to avoid fear, because the truth may not work.
Another thing is that the criteria of this ”fail” should be clear. How I understand that I didn’t succeed? I have not reached any indicators, quite tangible things or state of mind? And if we consider our jump of faith as a movement from scratch? Then there will definitely be some kind of result for which you should praise yourself.
Antidote. Specify your fear: what actions you have to perform in order to launch a project, whether it be a business or move? What are the means, their own or borrowed? Google to help us: there are calculation templates, forums of those who have already checked a similar idea on the experience.
Sometimes fear is a useful signal. I once missed my idea of creating a gym through such a calculator and came to the conclusion that the project would be unprofitable.
Obstacle No. 2: The main thing is to believe in a dream
On the call “Follow your dream, and everything will work out” is actually better not to rely. The blind faith is as dangerous as the total fear of failure. This is his reverse side. Of the 100% startups, about 10% survived a year from the start of the start, and only 2-3% are successful.
To get into these interest, do not leave the distance ahead of time. My friend, for example, launched an online store of electrical equipment, and in the first quarter he bought only brushes for some unit for 1,500 rubles. If he had not been ready for this, he would refuse the venture in the first month.
Do not rush headlong into a new relationship, business, moving to another country, without collecting information about pitfalls.
Antidote. It is worth
preparing a backup plan: how to act if it doesn’t work out – or it turns out, but not immediately. And what to do as new information appears about our dream – how we use it for the good, soberly assessing the situation and taking the necessary actions.
For example, after moving to another country, how will we do without friends? We must find new friends before. It is also worth checking how realistic and interesting the idea is. Now, the more creative it is-ceteris paribus (for example, a cool team and a competent business plan)-the more chances of success and investment.
It’s not only about business, but also about relationships: what can I offer a potential partner so that he will choose me on a dating site from all and be ready to invest in me emotionally and financially? And then – stubbornly and systematically achieve their goals.
Obstacle No. 3: loved ones do not support, well, and let, I can handle it myself
Even if it seems that this is exclusively our project and it concerns only us, it is a myth. Any innovation in the life of one family member or team will inevitably affect all. We are going to learn a foreign language, get the next higher or bought a subscription to a fitness club.
This means that part of the time, emotions and attention will be switched to something else than before. Moreover, when it comes to business (he, as a rule, takes away to the maximum of what we have from the above).
If the family, dear people against us, do not need to build illusions that this situation will be able to get around without discussing it in advance with loved ones. You can, of course, put everyone before the fact. But are we ready for the fact that they will soon meet us at home as an enemy?
Antidote. Be sure to enlist the support of those who influence you (partners in life and business, bosses, friends). Talk to all family members and interested persons, identify the needs and fears of everyone, neutralize them with care. How? Direct conversation.
After all, we are scared by the unknown. There is what we are used to and are waiting by default. For example, that we will still come to family dinners on Saturdays. Or fishing ”with boys”.
Now everything will change, it is worth warning about this, discussing the distribution of responsibilities: who will now take the child to kindergarten, buy products. And if the family is still against? This is always a matter of communication.
Look for suitable arguments and tone so that you are heard and supported.
Obstacle No. 4: playing out through the changes of impenetrated old problems
It may turn out that we are not at all a passionate idea of creating something new, but the unresolved problems from which we run are not at all. That we may play old scenarios through an attempt to create something else.
But we ourselves enter this new one who has not changed, which means that the probability of dancing in the rake is very great. Even if the goal seems correct, it is worthwhile to make sure at the start again: whether we definitely do not solve one problem by creating another?
Antidote. It may happen that after psychotherapy, the previously hateful position of the accountant will be excellent work, and you will not have to become an actor at the age of 40, catching up with a youthful dream. What was previously annoyed, after therapy it may well bring joy-including due to the change of focus.
For example, we had a complex relationship with a dad or mom. And we (here is strange!) We constantly choose such a company or such a boss where we will confirm the usual model, seeing in the head of the dictator dictator or controlling mom.
We will learn about this at a consultation, we will go through therapy and begin to build relationships with the leadership in a new way: not as a parent-a child, but as two adults, and no longer needs to run away to a new company or a profession.
And even more so you do not need to freeze your ears in spite of your mother, proving that you can create your own business in spite of everything. Sometimes it’s cheaper to deal with your dragons than to then rake the blockages from the structure that seemed to be saving.
Obstacle No. 5: not enough energy and strength
In any new business, it is worth entering mentally and physically healthy. The first year is the most difficult: there is a restructuring of old templates, the creation of new connections, dating, developing skills, expanding its own boundaries.
The body is both mentally and physically difficult. Stress is inevitable. And it’s a pity if the built plan collapses because we have not prepared the body for loads.
Antidote. Business or new life project (repair, wedding, children) require physical strength. Conduct planned maintenance of the body. Why do we prepare it before a long trip by car, but ourselves not?
Add to yourself resources – for this you should not only visit doctors, but also master the techniques of mental self -regulation that affect ”physics”: meditation, for example. For productivity, you need a dream: this is a myth that the less we sleep, the more we will have time, just the opposite.
As well as another myth that food is the second thing. Therefore, it is time to refuse that it is not food – chips, snacks, soda.
Take care of proper nutrition (balance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates). Ideally, connect a nutritionist or nutritionist who will help adjust the diet and regime so that it gives and does not take energy.
There is no time to warm up and cook? Agree with a child who will warm up your food with his own significance for the family business, or with the mother-retirement, who is only waiting to help.
There is no time for a gym? Use video tutorials and short training. This does not require a lot of time, but gives a lot of effort.
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